Sunday, March 15, 2009

Circle of Friends

When we lost Jacob we went to see a grief counselor. One of the things she told me is that everybody needs approximately 8 good friends. I laughed out loud at her at the time. I had two good friends. And one was half-a-country away. I honestly thought that I would NEVER have that many good friends. I told her I didn't have time or energy for that many good friends!

It is not that I don't have friends. I have many friends..a good chunk of my homeschool group are friends. I had friends at the church we were going to at the time. But hardly any of them were more than one-faceted friends. For instance, this friend I talk to about cooking; this friend I talk to about kids; this friend I talk to about gardening, this one crocheting, etc. They are people that I have one or two things in common with, but they don't know the "real" me.

Now, these ARE more than acquaintances. I consider an acquaintance someone I just make small talk with. We talk about the weather, the church service, how our husbands are. After 30 seconds of small talk, there is an awkward silence and you wonder how to slip away.

However, they weren't GOOD friends. Friends that I shared more than one facet with. Friends that I laughed AND cried with. Friends that could tell you my dreams or goals.

The other day, I was talking to a good friend. This good friend said something about how I always talk about the Bible. I said, "pretty much only with you." She was amazed! She said, "I figured you were like this with everyone." It got me thinking. And I came to an amazing discovery.

I have 8 good friends now.

That's phenomenal! God is so awesome! I have 8 good friends and I am not even really involved in anything at the moment! I don't have a church, I don't see my homeschool group enough, and yet I still (or maybe because of that) I have a circle of wonderful friends!

One is still half-a-country away.
One is a family member.
Several I met at my homeschool group.
I met a couple at church.
and one I know through Kaedra's special needs.
Two of them don't have any kids and aren't married while another one has 8 kids!

My friends are wonderful. I am truly blessed by them. I have NEVER had this many friends and these are all ladies that I wouldn't give up for anything. I know that even when I move, it will not change our friendship. (esp since I hardly ever SEE any of my friends!!)

The interesting thing is: I am a different Kahri with each of these ladies. Not completely different, mind you, just slightly different. I will use one of their recent analogies: Like a diamond is one diamond but has lots of different facets. Each of my friends sees a different angle of my whole. As I said, I talk to one about the Bible a LOT, one I talk to mostly about cooking and children; one I talk to about homeschooling, home improvement and our husbands; one I can be my super-silly self with, one I can be especially quirky with and share my creative side.....but all these friends know the "real" me. They all know my hopes and dreams. They can tell you quite a bit about me. They are all people I could call crying or laughing. They are all people who would help me in a quandry, pray for me, make me laugh and I would do the same for any of them!

I have been praying for years for a good (local) friend. I had a friendship that changed with time and I really missed the old friendship. I missed how it used to be. So I took it to God. and waited. and waited. and waited.

And He fulfilled all that I could ask for and more! Isn't that how He is? Abundant! More that all I could ask for or think of!

Two disclaimers....

My husband is my best friend. He knows all the sides of me and loves them all! The important thing is, he can't fill all my friendship needs. It is unfair of me to make him try. That is why I have my girl-friends.

AND I have a PERFECTLY WONDERFUL best girl friend who does know all the sides of me. I reckon that is why I call her my best friend. However, she is not local and that makes some things difficult, ie. dropping in on each other, sharing meals, kids playing together, etc. We do talk on the phone about just about everything, when we CAN talk, and we email each other several times a week. In 13 years I think we have talked about just about everything and had every kind of emotion to share. She knows I am quirky and loves that side of me and I love that side of her!


Daniele said...

That is wonderful to have so many friends! Any news yet on a possible move?

Susan said...

Friends come in all shapes and sizes. To have 1 or 2 truly DEEP, all incompassing, friendships during our lifetimes is truly a gift of God.

I like the way you said about us having friends for different facets of ourselves. Yes, we all indeed have many facets to share one with others. I am thankful for what we have shared.

Chavaneth said...

Even though we are no longer close - I definitely consider you one of the best friends I ever had. You were such a big part of my life and changed me in ways that were nothing but positive.

::Traci:: said...

Thanks for stopping in on us and for your congrats! :)