Saturday, July 02, 2011

He is Risen

I wrote this for some friends a few months ago. Found it again today and thought I'd post it here to remind MYSELF.

We've all been going through some rough times right now. Sometimes it even seems impossible that things will get better and it is easy to despair!

Just like the disciples did on Good Friday...... they were giving up...all was lost. They were distraught. They had no idea that people would someday refer to that day as "Good" Friday. To them, there was nothing good about it. Sounds like where we are.... there is nothing good about anything we all are going through. Jesus had said "It is finished." They believed it... all was finished. To them, they had lost the most precious and sacred person they had ever known. The amount of hurt and pain and betrayal was so much more than anything we all are going through....even though we are going through a lot.

Saturday had to be horrible. Looking back from this side, we know that all is not lost. We know that there was hope to be held on to. But imagine being there... your friend, your savior was just crucified on a cross in the most undignified and horrible of fashions. All that you have been living for is gone. All that you believed must be wrong. There is nothing left. Don't we feel like that? With financial worries, worries about our children, worries about jobs...doesn't it seem like there is nothing left? that what we believed must be wrong?

Imagine now, if you can, in the middle of this darkness and utter despair, you hear a voice saying, "He is risen." He. Is. Risen. Hope. Joy. Relief. He is risen. All of a sudden, in those three words, everything that happened the past three days is erased. Joy came that morning. Abundant, overwhelming joy encompassing all the pain and sorrow. There was hope. All was well.

We are almost there, guys. We may be in the midst of Good Friday or Holy Saturday... we may be believing all is finished or everything we believed must be wrong. But joy is coming. Hope is coming. Relief is coming. Don't give up and don't forget that He is Risen! Even in the midst of all that we are going through, those three words should give us joy.... it means that there is something else coming. Everything looks dark and bleak, just like it did on Good Friday. But when Jesus said, "It is finished" he meant that the prophecies had been fulfilled, our sins had been taken away, Jesus had paid our price, Jesus had done ALL. What might have sounded to some like it was the end, Jesus meant as the beginning.

And what might seem to be the end to us, Jesus is going to use as a beginning. We are on the crux of our breakthrough. We are awaiting the Good News... the News that He is Risen but remember, we have the blessing of hindsight! We KNOW that he is risen and we need to keep proclaiming it! Proclaim it and praise God for our savior! Our Savior... He has SAVED us!! Hallelujah and Amen!! I know that we are right on the brink of Easter morning. We will all be able to see the stone rolled away and the hope that came in the empty tomb. We will get the breakthroughs that we all need and we will all be able to run back to our friends and say, "He is risen" and hear each other say "He is risen indeed!"

Friday, May 06, 2011

Just a thought

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

Jacob's Birthday

Yesterday was Jacob's birthday. We made our annual trip to his gravesite and sang him "Happy Birthday" just as we always do. This year was very cute because Ethan did a dance for Jacob, as he was singing. Ethan and Kaedra are asking a lot more questions about Jacob: where he is, why he is there, when they will get to see him, etc.

Here is a picture of the kids....  while you might think it's a little odd to see their big smiles at their brother's grave - remember that they all know that he is in a much better place and that they will get to see him again!

photo.JPG by Kedlynn
photo.JPG, a photo by Kedlynn on Flickr.

Friday, April 08, 2011

Busy Week

Well I haven't had a lot of time to work on house projects this week! It's been a busy busy week! Tuesday we had a doctor's appointment (Emily got her cast off!), we got pictures taken downtown and Michael and I went on a date. It was a wonderful date.....maybe my favorite ever. Since it was such a beautiful day, we started off by going for a drive. We had a wonderful time driving through Catoosa and seeing an area Michael had never seen (but I had discovered recently).  After we were done, we were driving by the Hard Rock Casino and saw that there was a Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill Restaurant. Having been there in OKC, we knew we liked it so we decided to go there.  We finally found some parking in the crazy casino parking lot and we got inside. It was really cool! Since it is a Hard Rock establishment, there is a lot of rock history in there.  I loved this wall full of quotes from rock songs

There were columns in the middle of the slot machines that had outfits, guitars, pictures, and other memorabilia from musicians and bands. Here are some of my favorites:

 This is Prince's guitar. Not that I am a huge Prince fan, but I love his guitar. Reminds me of something Dr. Seuss.

 The Eagles Guitar from Hotel California. Also some music and the album cover.

 Billy  Gibbons, ZZ Top. 


 Stevie Ray Vaughn

Eric Clapton

The colors in the casino were gorgeous. They had lots of beautiful creations hanging from the ceiling that made the place very pretty.

They also had HUGE posters of different rock legends.

Well  I have to get off of here and get ready for co-op.  I will finish up later!

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Monday, April 04, 2011


An Edelweiss
Admittedly, this is an odd looking flower, but I just love them.  
I love the song from The Sound of Music, too. I sing it to my children almost nightly.

So I am feeling better.  I had a really bad month or so. We were going to change my fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue meds over to another med.  I weaned off the one medicine only to find out that I couldn't afford the other medication.  I had to wean back on the first medicine and the whole thing took about a month for me to finally feel good again.  I did learn something important.....  I was thinking the medicine wasn't helping very much. After weaning off of it, I realized how much it really is helping me.  Apparently my FM/CFS has gotten worse over the last year and I really do the medicine to function at this time.  With the medicine, I feel a little better than I was, with occasional flare ups. Without the medicine, I feel like I'm in one big flare up all the time. 

Not only did I have that going on, I also got sick.  AND the kids weren't sleeping hardly at all.  At least I got everything done and over with at once.  Although I wish they didn't have to deal with it, it IS nice to have friends who have similar problems and really understand what I am going through. I read a lot about people who do not have a good support system.  My friends at least understand me and sympathize.  

Now that I am feeling better, I am "waking up" to realize everything is falling apart! Brittany has done a GREAT JOB at keeping things rolling as far as laundry and picking up. Michael has helped out a lot with meals. However, some of the littler stuff (cleaning out the frig, messy cabinets, piles of papers, etc) needs to be done.  

Not only that, but I am waking up to some truths as well.  After talking to my friend April on  Friday, I realized that I really need to move in to my house.  Yes, we are moved in enough to reside here....  but I haven't made it a home yet.  We still have sheets up in the windows, boxes in our rooms, boxes in the garage, and from the outside you probably can't tell if we live here or not.  The reasons are numerous but the crux is, I needed to change my ways.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling good and with a mission.  I went straight to the garage (where we recently had our hot water heater flood) and started going through boxes. I opened and went through every box that was in there. I had to throw quite a bit away because of the flood... the rest I put in piles of whether to take inside, put in the attic or put away in the garage.  By the end of Saturday, I had worked 5 hours in the garage and finished one side of it.  Sunday morning I went back out and worked on the opposite side. I finished up the boxes and organized the workbench. I am not done yet, but mostly it is just bringing stuff inside and taking things to the attic.  Once I am done with that, the garage will be nearly empty and I will be able to park inside again! :-)  Not only that, but, if we had another flood, nothing would get ruined.  

One of the benefits of going through all the boxes was finding "lost" treasures! I found all my fishing stuff and had such fun looking through it all.  I also found many decorations. Now I am looking forward to getting things put up and put away and having our house really be homey again. 

Today I realized that the inside was getting very messy while I was working on the outside. Since Michael and Brittany were both gone, I thought I would surprise them and clean the kitchen and my bedroom.  Unfortunately the kitchen is taking a little more time than I thought. I got about half of it done and it's going to take another day.  It is feeling great to get it done, though.

Now I am feeling a little worn out. I am hoping I just need a nap to get renewed and that I haven't overdone it.  It is so hard not to try to get EVERYTHING done when I am feeling up to working.  I KNOW I should take it easy...but it's hard to do.  

Well that's what's going on here.... 

Friday, March 18, 2011

Paying the Ultimate Price

There once was a man named George Thomas, pastor in a small New England town. One Easter Sunday morning he came to the Church carrying a rusty, bent, old bird cage, and set it by the pulpit. Eyebrows were raised and, as if in response, Pastor Thomas began to spe...ak....

"I was walking through town yesterday when I saw a young boy coming toward me swinging this bird cage. On the bottom of the cage were three little wild birds, shivering with cold and fright.

I stopped the lad and asked, "What do you have there, son?"

"Just some old birds," came the reply.

"What are you going to do with them?" I asked.

"Take 'em home and have fun with 'em," he answered. "I'm gonna tease 'em and pull out their

feathers to make 'em fight. I'm gonna have a real good time."

"But you'll get tired of those birds sooner or later. What will you do then?"

"Oh, I got some cats," said the little boy. "They like birds. I'll take 'em to them."

The pastor was silent for a moment. "How much do you want for those birds, son?"

"Huh?? !!! Why, you don't want them birds, mister.

They're just plain old field birds. They don't sing. They ain't even pretty!"

"How much?" the pastor asked again.

The boy sized up the pastor as if he were crazy and said, "$10?"

The pastor reached in his pocket and took out a ten dollar bill. He placed it in the boy's hand.

In a flash, the boy was gone. The pastor picked up the cage and gently carried it to the end of

the alley where there was a tree and a grassy spot. Setting the cage down, he opened the door, and by softly tapping the bars persuaded the birds out, setting them free. Well, that explained the empty bird cage on the pulpit, and then the pastor began to tell this story:

One day Satan and Jesus were having a conversation. Satan had just come from the Garden of Eden, and he was gloating and boasting. "Yes, sir, I just caught a world full of people down there. Set me a trap, used bait I knew they couldn't resist. Got 'em all!"

"What are you going to do with them?" Jesus asked.

Satan replied, "Oh, I'm gonna have fun! I'm gonna teach them how to marry and divorce each other, how to hate and abuse each other, how to drink and smoke and curse. I'm gonna teach them how to invent guns and bombs and kill each other.. I'm really gonna have fun!"

"And what will you do when you are done with them?"

Jesus asked. "Oh, I'll kill 'em," Satan glared proudly.

"How much do you want for them?" Jesus asked.

"Oh, you don't want those people. They ain't no good. Why, you'll take them and they'll just hate you. They'll spit on you, curse you and kill you. You don't want those people!!"

"How much? He asked again.

Satan looked at Jesus and sneered, "All your blood, tears and your life."

Jesus said, "DONE!" Then He paid the price.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

anyone lived in a pretty how town

used to have this poem of my favorites.

anyone lived in a pretty how town by E. E. Cummings

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

Women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)they
said their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes.

Women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain

Monday, February 28, 2011

Wrote this poem when I was in high school...
thought of it last night when talking to Brittany

No, she said, and then he was sad
No, once again, and then he was mad
Maybe, she whispered, afraid she would lose him
Please, he begged, not thinking of her
Yes, she said, crying, thinking only of him.

Friday, February 25, 2011


it's the showing of my underbelly
that scares me
I like to keep it hidden
as it should be
away from light and eyes and probing

it's the under
the soft place where all my faults
and all my vulnerabilities
are stitched together
crookedly, jaggedly
with no finesse
and unmatched thread

It's private
and lonely
it has a mind of it's own
a terrible energy
that consumes when it is revealed
pulling all my thoughts
actions, emotions
into the awful vortex
spitting them out
mangled and torn
raw, open and weeping blood

you may think I hide this place from Jesus
protecting my underbelly from Him
or Him from my underbelly
but I don't
when it is unearthed
I hold on to Him
with frantic hands
silently screaming His name
a life grip on His robe
"If I just touch His clothes
I will be healed"

and instead of giving up
letting the monster win
opening up the stitches
with a dull knife
pulling each one
until the skin pops
letting everything fall out
and heading into blessed oblivion

instead of that
I hang on
and ride out the storm
whipped around,
out of control
heading into ever darker places
but anchored to Jesus
holding His robe
knowing I WILL be healed
I WILL be whole

When God is for me,
even my Self
cannot stand a chance against me

Not Alone by Red

And here's the answer to those feelings...

Lifehouse - Broken Live

Here's how I've been feeling lately...

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A New Baby to pray for

I have met a family with a precious baby, just over one year old, named Ava Maddison. She was born at 23 weeks and is still in the hospital. 

She had a really rough night last night and needs prayer.  Please join me in praying for sweet Ava and her family. (click on her picture to go to her blog)

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Saturday, January 01, 2011