Okay I lied

I know I just said a few posts ago that I was integrating all my blogs into one since it's all one life. However, I have decided to start a new blog and I also decided to keep it separate from this one.  It is a very specialized blog....talking about Kaedra's journey toward eating.  It is really just a journal of what we are trying and how it is working. If you are interested, here is the link.

Conference

I am so blessed to be able to go to a conference in this area about transitioning g-tube fed children to oral eating. It is being given by the expert in this type thing...Marsha Dunn-Klein. It is a two day conference and after only one day I feel as if I have a plethora of ideas! I can't wait to start! I had felt at a bit of a loss lately as to what to try next and now I have to pace myself not to try too many things at once. I talked to her this afternoon, after the conference and she gave me some specific pointers for Kaedra, too! What a blessing that is!! AND, She said if all my questions weren't answered by tomorrow afternoon that I could come ask her more!


As you may remember, Kaedra's speech therapist until she was three, Amanda, is now one of my closest friends. She arranged this whole thing so I was able to go and I am so thankful! I also am getting to see her and Nicole, another friend, as they are down here for the conference too.



It has been a great day!

Friends,

Knowledge,

And help for Kaedra.
 
Here is a great site we heard about today for children learning to eat:
Popsicle.org

Rudderless

I have been working on this post for awhile. Trying to figure out how to word it correctly. To speak my heart, be authentic and not offend. There comes a time to just spit it out and go on.

This is about me.

My struggles

My thoughts.

I am not attempting to tell anyone else what to believe. In chat lingo, ymmv. (your mileage may vary)

This is my mileage:

I have recently gotten out of a bad relationship. And, with that relationship came many rules and doctrines and beliefs that I went along with, because I wanted to please. I wanted to please God and I wanted to make the relationship work. I thought the two were intertwined. As I get farther and farther from the relationship (it has been about 7 months) I have come to realize that they were not one in the same. Pleasing my Father had nothing to do with this relationship.

Because of my confusion in this relationship, it has been an interesting 7 months. I am having to redefine my relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I have so many questions but I can not look to man for the answers. I have put away all my books about God or the Bible, many of my bibles (the ones with commentaries) and have cancelled my subscriptions to certain magazines. I have gotten rid of podcasts and no longer listen to certain CDs. I don't want to follow man.  Any man. Even great men.

Only Jesus.

I am questioning everything....how to pray; what is faith; what are God's promises, exactly; what does the Bible really say, where is the authority. What do I believe?

And for the first time in my life, I am feeling a little lost about God.

Not a crisis in faith, only a crisis in doctrine.

I do not doubt for a second God's presence.
or his love
or Jesus dying on the cross
forgiveness
redemption
rapture
that is all as real as ever.

However, when you don't know how to pray, it could make it hard to talk to God on a consistent basis.  Thank God he doesn't mind. He listens to me babble. He listens to me pray one way, then another, then apologize and ask Him which way. I know He doesn't mind. I know He doesn't judge. And that is something I didn't know 7 months ago, so I am definitely progressing in the right direction.

It's like I have been the captain of a boat. My course was laid out by God but I had the rudder in my hand. As I was growing up, I was going in one direction and in the last few years, I switched direction and headed somewhere else. But now, I have lost the rudder.  I am in the boat, in the ocean, not only following God's course, but relying on Him to get me there.

Rudderless is not a bad place to be.

In search of Joy

I have had a problem lately.

I lost my joy.

It disappeared somewhere over the summer...amidst the move, the news about Michael's job, being homesick (and friendsick), the fall from the ladder and some lasting effects from it, selling the house, school starting, etc.

I was talking to my husband last week and realized there was no joy in my day. No joy in my talking to him. Just complaints. And tiredness. Pain. Weariness. 

So, with that, I went searching for it:
I decided not to complain anymore.
I chose to talk about my blessings and triumphs.
I chose to stop feeling sorry for myself for not getting any sleep and just get over it.
I chose to stop thinking I can't handle everything.
I chose to give every little thing to God, repeatedly, and praise Him over and over.

And it worked.
I found Joy.
It really wasn't gone, I just forgot where to look..... 

Up.

Some changes and some things haven't changed at all!

Last week, I combined all three of my blogs into this blog. It is, after all, Our Peculiar LIFE. Not a segment of our life...our LIFE.  And the other two blogs were part of that self-same life...so....I am putting everything together. It is part of my attempt at simplifying my life and also being authentic. But more on that later.....


Still not getting sleep. Actually, I got one night of good sleep and one night of fairly good sleep. And then last night hardly ANY sleep thanks to BOTH littles AND the dog! Everyone is trying to get a piece of the "mom-in-the-middle-of-the-night" action.  So I am still working on that one.

I took a quiz on Facebook the other day that asked if I thought that I think too much. I laughed out loud at that one!! I have been thinking so much lately, I think my brain is either getting worn out or SOO exercised that it is HUGE! HA!

I have LOTS of thoughts that I plan on blogging about. Not so much to share, but to get them all down and maybe make sense of them. It definitely helps me to write things down and read them over again.  a little side funny....You know, sometimes I make a decision about something and then FORGET that I did it and then go through ALL the thinking again until I realize I already decided!! (getting old?? me?? no....)

On the good side, we have been exercising! YES! The Lynn family!! MOVING! WOW! And how did this come to be?  Thanks to my birthday present......the Wii fit!! WOOHOO!! It is the BEST present I can imagine!!!  It is AWESOME! We all love it.  I had no idea a "video game" could make me so sore! I have figured out an entire routine that takes me about 45 minutes a day.  And I have done it for 6 days in a ROW.  That's HUGE for me. :-) Well the REALLY huge thing is that I LOOK FORWARD TO IT!! It is so much fun!!! And I LOVE pushing myself harder. 

A few more notes: Our house in BA still hasn't sold. We have about 6 weeks before we start paying double house payments.  We would appreciate prayers! No change in Michael's work. His 3 months of not looking for a store will be up November 1st as well. We still love our house, love Yukon and love our new church. School is in session and we are trying to work out how to keep everyone occupied. 

Kaedra has a doctor appt with a doctor that does her specialized surgery here in OKC on October 6th. We are very excited about that. Being able to have her surgery here in town would be awesome. We are also going to talk to him about getting her trach hole stitched up as it never healed. Next week on Monday and Tuesday I am attending a seminar at OU about getting Kaedra to eat by mouth. I am so very excited. The lady giving the seminar is one of the top authorities on this kind of thing and I get to glean knowledge from her! Hallelujah!! I can't wait to suck it all up.  (besides the fact that I just LOVE learning...so I am excited about any kind of learning experience, much less one that could so fabulously affect Kaedra's life! AND two sweet, special friends will be there too, so I get to see them!) I am praying I will learn something that will help us!

Well that's all the time I have for now....see ya later alligators!

Where have I been?

I have not been sleeping thanks to my blue-eyed little boy. I don't operate well on 2-3 hours a night. It's just not working. And it has been going on for weeks. Needless to say, I'm a bit befuddled. And frazzled. And flabbergasted (I just threw that one in because it's fun to say)

I'm not in the best mood. I'm using all available brain power to get through school. And life.

And if I can't say anything nice, I try not to say anything at all.

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